Busy Bron

I'm actually busy enough that blogging is not my priority. (What ... did you really notice no postings since August? Really.) I like to build and create things. My most recent projects are putting a castle on our front porch and making a guy out of duct tape. (Yes, I wrapped my body in duct tape. You should try it. It's an experience you'll never forget. The secret ingredient? Plastic body bags BEFORE the tape!) If you want to know what I'm up to now, visit my mom's blog, because she writes about me sometimes. Check it out here: Shirley Bahlmann's Blog. Now go out and do something you love to do. I have spoken.

School stuff

With school coming up, I've been practicing sleeping at night and staying awake in the day. I've gotten pretty good at it.

It's not that I really look forward to school, but in a way I do, for seeing people and stuff, but having to sit in classrooms is rather low on my list of favorite activities. But with 10 years behind me and two more to go, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel... no, wait, that's when you die, right?

So what does that say about school, huh?

That's what I thought.

Chocolate pudding alert

If my mom offers to make you chocolate pudding, be sure you get a good look at the box first. She offered to make me some, and when she brought it to me, brimming with whipped cream, I was appreciative.

Then I tasted it.

"This tastes funny," I said.

Mom looked guilty. "That's because I couldn't find any chocolate pudding," she said. "We only had vanilla, so I put Ovaltine in it."

No wonder it tasted funny. She ruined some good vanilla pudding and some good Ovaltine.

The next time we went to the store, she carried out about 10 boxes of chocolate pudding. If you come over right now, you should be good to go.

The Sad Truth Girls Need to Realize About Twilight

by Bron Bahlmann

Oh deary me,
How it makes me laugh to see,
The obsession girls all have with Jacob Black,
Tough luck, bad news, he can't love you back.
I'm an author I write books,
So put away your dirty looks,
I know about this stuff,
And I know the news is rough,
But Jacob is a work of fiction,
About that there can be no contradiction,
When you say you love him again and again,
Your claiming your love for Stephanies brain,
Thats really all he is a thought somewere in her head,
You'd be better of loving someone who's dead,
They were real, made of flesh and bone,
But those are things Jacob has never known,
By all means think i'm jelouse and just not as good,
But i'm sorry to say this, jacob doesnt have the priesthood.
He cant bless the sacrament, and cant baptize the dead,
After all, he's a thought in Stephanies head,
I dont look like him and im not a "sexy beast"
I am a human though, and have a brain at least,
I dont have a crooked smile or cool tattoo,
But at least I can look in your eyes and say I love you,
So Edward has eternal life,
So will you if you become my wife,
A temple marriage is something I can share,
Even if im not real strong with lucious locks of hair,
I'm sorry if you want half dead kids, or ones with lots of hair,
All I can offer my future children is scriptures and daily prayer,
So if thats not good enough for you then by all means love Jacob Black,
But sorry to say, he can never love you back.

Entrepreneur comin' at ya

Just to let you know, I am not only a writer, but am now a T-shirt designer. This company buys cool T-shirt designs, because they bought one of mine.

I know you're curious, so here it is, just a click away: From the Mind of Bron - T-shirt design for the 21st Century.

Sticky Fingers

Sometimes my little brother Michael doesn't eat good food. Sometimes he plays too many computer games. The other day he told me the ends of his fingers felt sticky and he had a headache. "Did you drink any water today?" I asked him.
He said he didn't remember.
I told him to go and drink some water. It's something like 95 percent of your body weight. Once he had some water and some sleep, he was as good as new.
I think I like him better asleep.

I thought I was getting a yearbook...

When school ended, we got our yearbooks. Well, I thought I was getting a yearbook. It turned out to look like a baby book. Come on, what would you think of a pure white cover with the pastel letters "New Beginnings" in one corner? Yeah, that's what I thought. But that wasn't the worst of it. When you turn it over, there is a single small pastel hand print at the top.

Lame-sauce.

We're in high school, not preschool.

It's rotten being sick

I've had the worst cough and sore throat the past week. Today my feet were cold and wouldn't get warm. Mom made me some hot apple juice with cinnamon in it.
Yesterday a couple of my neighbor's nieces came over to interview me for a book report. That was kind of fun. The brought me brownies and lemon bars. How can you not have fun with brownies and lemon bars in the mix?

A Great Hospital Read

My mom met an elderly man at a funeral who told her he bought a copy of my book. Mom smiled and said that was great. Then he told her that the book was sitting in a bag with a toothbrush and change of clothes and shaving gear. Mom wasn't sure what to think about that until he said, "So if I ever have to go to the hospital in a hurry, I'm certain I'll have something to read."
Yeah, if he's conscious.
Besides, I thought hospitals were what Reader's Digests were for.

Painting in a corner

Yes, well, I got my room painted. (See pictures.) What is really weird is that my mom found a picture I painted in middle school and it was of a guy holding a dragon on his shoulder and it has the same colors I just used for my room. I'll have to take a picture of that and post it next.
I also gave my first draft of Skin Warriors to my mom for an edit. She was all happy about that.

Peanut butter car

Okay, so we were playing with a remote control car and our dog, Bibs, was trying to get away from it. So I taped a piece of paper to the top of the car and put peanut butter on it. After that, she chased the car. When she caught it, she licked the peanut butter off.
There is always a way. You just have to find it.

Second Book

Last night I told Mom that my next book is ready for her to look at. Then she asked me if it had an ending.

An ending? Of course it has an ending, or why would I be finished with it?

Silly Mom.

Driving My Way

Well, if all was normal, I'd have my driver's license by now. But I've been visiting the State Capitol book store and schools every time my driver's ed instructor could go. Finally, two days ago, I passed my driving test and was ready to pick up papers and get my license Monday. But then Mom reminded me we're visiting schools in Las Vegas and St. George for the next three days. That means I won't get my license until Thursday.
But then, watch out. Have car, will drive!

State Capitol signing

I just got back from signing "Bone Warriors" at the Utah State Capitol. A lot of schools were there and a lot of kids stopped by. A Deseret News reporter interviewed me, took pictures, and said he'd put it in the paper, but I haven't seen it yet. Another reporter wanted a political book or one on homeschooling. I don't understand why he wouldn't be looking for a wicked necromancer in Medieval times.

Besides signings, we got to sit in on some legislature going on. While we watched, they passed a law that owners of animals hit on a livestock highway are to be contacted about the dead animal. Their votes were up on a screen that we could see, and the names turned green and had an "X" when they voted "yes." Dad said he thought that was already a law so owners would pay for any damages.

Well, now it really is a law. Just in case you wanted to know.

Fun With Duct Tape

It was chemistry class. My teacher was gone. There was nothing else to do, so I duct-taped a box of Kleenex to the ceiling, a stapler to the blackboard, and two chalk erasers and a marker by the light switch.

I know she'll appreciate it when she returns.

Some mornings I tell Mom I wrote 600 words on my next novel. Some mornings it's 200. It's all progress. And now, maybe I'll have the characters develop a super sticky substance so they can have fun during lulls in the action.

Sunday Woes

I had a rough Sunday. When I grabbed my clothes and headed out the door for a shower, I bumped into a plastic bag Mom had hung on my doorknob, filled with some of my stuff. When I bumped into the bag, it took me by surprise and I nearly fell down the stairs. After showering in cold water that took a long time to get warm, I put on my shirt only to realize that it was too tight (like a noose around my neck) and missing buttons, but I didn't have time to change or I'd be late for church. when I hurriedly threw some stuff up the stairs to put away later, I clonked my head on the doorjamb. When I reached for my tithing money, I knocked a picture off the wall and broke the frame. I blame my sore arms from working out with weights.
I ended up going to church anyway, and survived!

Infernal Invention

Who invented ties? When you think about it, they're useless. I'm getting good at tying them, but I still think they're useless.

I got a horse and signed socks

It was fun to visit Blanding and Mexican Hat Elementary schools. I almost sold out of books! I got a horse at each school. A stuffed horse mascot from Blanding, and a really good drawing of a horse from a Mexican Hat student. Another student at Mexican Hat had me sign his socks with a permanent ink marker.
I hope his Mom doesn't mind.

Snow stinks

I wanted to come back from my brother's house in St. George to go to the New Year's Eve dance, but it snowed so much that Mom couldn't come get me. She came the next day instead. I wasn't very happy new year about it.

I kind of ran out of ideas for my next Warriors book, so I started working on another one. But don't worry, I'll get back to it.

I'm going to Blanding on Thursday.